who is climate and why is she trying to change?

just be yourself luv x πŸ’ž

hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held

Interviewer: So why do you think you’d be a good waiter?

Me: Well, I can bring a lot to the table.

Interviewer: *whispers* damn it.

RT @[email protected]

π•₯π•™π•’π•Ÿπ•œ π•ͺ𝕠𝕦 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝟠𝟘𝟘 π•žπ•–π•žπ•“π•–π•£π•€ πŸ’“

πŸ¦πŸ”—: twitter.com/FurRetreat/status/

Sorry sir, we don’t serve time travellers here.

A time traveller walks into a bar…

My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.

I told him, "My door is always open!"

I wrote a song about a tortilla.

Actually, it’s more of a rap.

hand sanitizer: *kills 99.9% of bacteria*

the 0.1% of bacteria:

A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall off a cliff...

BA-DUMM-TSS

I was asked to make a small donation to the local swimming pool, so I gave them a bottle of water.

I met a man named Jim Apple the other day.

He has trouble introducing himself in France.

Teacher: What are you laughing at?

Me: Nothing.

My brain: Alobama.

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awoo.chat

awoo.chat is a Mastodon instance for furries and people who are otherwise fans of anthropomorphic artwork.